Dear Cal Black,

Our scanner doesn't work.
But let me tell you, if it did, I would really, really enjoy myself right now.

School starts in t-minus two days.

Our family is going to die of the black lung.

Yesterday was my Grandpa Freestone's 86th birthday. At the dinner table he started to ask a question about Licorice. She is our black lab. He accidentally called her Nigger.

Elder Anderson, I mean, Pete, has finished his two years of missionary work. Our family took his family brownies yesterday. He looked decent......
and by decent I mean I couldn't stop staring.
And by that I mean, I was daydreaming about our 4 children.
And by that I mean, "scholarship that only works in San Juan County, I hate you."