If I were running for Ms. America, I would wear a scuba diving suit for the swimsuit portion. For my talent I would showcase my endless abilities with spaghetti noodles. And when ask for what I wish for our world, I would say...
drum roll please, this is good...
A non habit forming medicine for insomniacs that REALLY WORKS!
And the crowd would cheer.
And I, Molly Freestone, would win. Duh.
It is exactly 4:51am. My daddy is currently walking out the door to go work out. Thats right. He's awake and I am awake The only difference is, while he is beginning his beautiful Friday morning, I am still waiting for this beepity beep blank blank Thursday NIGHT TO END!
A half hour ago I finally gave up on my quest for REM and went and had a grilled cheese sandwich. My dad heard me and came into the kitchen.
"Molls, you're up early. A grilled cheese sandwich for breakfast?"
"No Dad. A grilled cheese sand-o for DINNER!"
For my side dish, I pulled out the Tylenol PM. Four of them. My dad then put two back in the bottle and said,
"uh... Molls. You can't take four."
"Why not? I've been taking four every night for the last couple of weeks..."
"Well, then be happy you are awake and not dead from kidney failure."
Thanks Daddy. As bitter as I am with my melatonin deficiancy and hampster circle thingy mind, I enjoyed our early morning chat. Don't expect to get another one for a long time. I don't like being awake at 4:30 am.
Back to the hampster ride thingydingy. That is my profound um... simile, or whats that word in the scriptures?... fable, nope. parable!
Anywho. My MIND! AH Someone make it go to sleep. I have country songs, riddles, embarrassing memories, clothes to purchase, wedding color schemes, leg hair, Sylvia Plath, Annies beanie, my retainer, SPORTs!(weird), High School, college, church, institute, Mrs. Akery (what the?) getting skinny, that amazing ear wax fire thing, math problems, kidney failure, being held against my will that one time, Creepy Dan at eighties, Madimoomoo, bills, peeing in cups, and of course GRILLED CHEESE on my mind.
On a happier note, I'm in love and ENGAGED.
It's true. I'm sorry I haven't eluded to this in any previous posts....
jk. But I like to say that every week in relief society when they have "good news moment." Because I am the only person in Monticello my age that doesn't have mental retardation or facial deformity (atleast not diagnosed) that isn't married.
So I guess the real question is, if I have no marriage prospects, why do I care about getting a hot bod?
Oh my cow! I'm going to get FAT!
This was the best insomniac night of my life.
See you at the Blue Mountain Deli. I'll be the one buying all the fried stuff.
2 comments:
I'm sorry you couldn't sleep, but it made for a great post! And even though you are annoyed because you can't sleep, I thank you for making me start my day off with a smile.
Molly you have at least a year or two before your eggs all dry up. That is Annies favorite saying to all of Kristal's single friends, (which is most of them) She will say hurry you have to get married or your eggs will all dry up
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