The single reason I have struggled over the years to love this small town I call home is because of the joy people find in hearing that their neighbor did something wrong. What is so sad is that we have all had the opportunity to be humbled. We have all been the neighbor that messed up. We have all experienced the pain-- not only from what we did, but from the excitement of everyone around us as they learned of and then talked of your mistake.

I have been the topic of conversation in Monticello. My family has been the topic of conversation in Monticello-- because of me.

I know how hard it is to go about your day when everyone is staring-- and I know how painful it is to leave a room knowing the people who you left with smiles on their faces will in moments entertain themselves at your expense.

My heart hurts today.

Yesterday and the day before I couldn't enter a room in San Juan County with out overhearing an overjoyed conversation involving the latest local headlines.

Yesterday, someone couldn't bear the pain, so he took his life.

I know what happened yesterday isn't because of the gossiping, but I am still frustrated because I know a great lesson is still going to go unlearned.

Some will get satisfaction out of how Dr. Redd wasn't strong enough.
What they will miss is that they've been relishing in someones pain.. such intense pain that he thought it to be unbearable... and they were eating it up.. and that is disgusting.