$3.76

Look how fun!
So, everytime I go to choose a necklace it takes me like an hour, because I have to untangle them all. So I googled "decorative necklace display" and found this great little idea.
Even better, my mum bought these absolutely amazing pots forever ago and had done nothing with them so I claimed them as my own.
I went to the merc, (that's a store in small town language) and purchased a can of red spray paint.
Then I went and scrimmaged through the decorations storage room and found some raffia-- I hope my mom wasn't planning on using the cornucopia decoration this thanksgiving.....
Then I went out to the backyard in search for the perfect tree branch. We have like 70 trees... I had no luck. So then I went to the front yard where unfortunately we only have a weeping willow. Then I saw it. The perfect branch... dividing my yard from the neighbors yard is this tall long bush thingy that acts as a fence I guess. I figured it's 50% ours and 50% theirs so I went for it.

Still-- and I suppose it's not too late-- I wish I had found/picked a stronger branch. I can't really hang my heavy necklaces on there.
Sure is cute though. I feel so domesticated.

p.s. Annie, I wish you had been here.
RIP

Pink and sprinkles and unicorns.

I ate a whole package of these in less than one week.
They were so fantastic.
Lofthouse pink sugar cookies with sprinkles are quite possibly my favorite food.
I think the reason why, besides the fact that they are devine-- is that my favorite recurring dream growing up involved the color pink-- everything was pink, sprinkles, and unicorns. And this cookie, has TWO of those things.

Dear hubsy,
This is how you should propose... stick a ring INSIDE of my pink cookie. Or rearrange the sprinkles to say m-a-r-r-y-m-e.... oh, and definitely ride in on a pink unicorn with a purple thingy....
um. When I say thingy I don't mean thingy.... I'm not perverted. I mean thingy, you know, the thingy on the head.

Actually, dear hubsy, I've thought about this a lot... I don't trust you to pick out my ring. I don't want you to. Please? But I DO want it to be a surprise proposal... Well, I mean, I don't want you to propose prematurely-- make sure I'm down with it-- but then please pretty please make it be a surprise. Just go ahead and tie a string around my finger or something... Don't go ring shopping with out me.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Also!!! I've decided I need to write more poor pity party posts more often!
Thank you to my friends for all the fantastic, far to kind, you're making me blush, tear jerking, smile making comments, emails, messages, and phone calls.

Quite often I feel alone in my reclusive little world, it is really absolving to be reminded that there really are many that care, understand, or relate.
To my old friends, my new friends, and my anonymous friends, Thank you!!!


Gosh. CHEESY.
Swear-- no cheesy posts for a while.

p.p.p.s.
Did you notice??? In the picture???? I really did stop biting my nails. I feel pretty.

You're so vain, you probably think this post is about you...

I've run into this problem a few times now.
This blog is like, my really emo diary.

We all know that.

That said, I try very hard to not regret prior posts, because it's kind of like a story to me.

More then one person now has made a comment about the contrast in my spirituality and relationships with my parents on my blog, vs. in conversation.

This is really weighing on me right now. Does it make me two faced or a liar if I have days where I could strangle family members, days when I have the urge to run away to the big city, days when I feel like my world is falling apart-- and then days when my family is the only thing that keeps me going, days when there is nothing more perfect then Monticello, and days when I feel so overwhelmed with gratitude for all of my blessings?

To those so stealthily reading this blog, stewing over every word I write, stewing over everything I say, with nothing but thoughts of how horrible a person I am, I encourage you to write down your deepest thoughts and feelings for a few weeks, and then from that judge yourself according to those words, and nothing else. Don't excuse yourself for things you know, but didn't write. Decide what kind of person you are, solely with the words you have written down.
You're going to feel pretty heinous in a few weeks. Promise.

Writing to me is therapy. I use it to analyze and work through things. Some people like yoga and some like running. I like writing. I type so fast to keep up with the words going through my mind that by the time I am finished, it usually makes no sense at all.

My world is not your world. Your world is not mine. We do not see things the same way. I understand that. I only wish you did too.

There are things in my life that I put out there, knowing they will be judged differently by different people. I hate that I have caved to the point where I feel the need to defend myself. But, I hope that maybe those who judge can realize that it is not their responsibility, especially if the things they are stewing over do not affect them in the slightest way. So maybe I am a horrible person. (really, I ask myself this more then you do) but why do you care so much? How sad you must be to only find pleasure in my shortcomings.

Let's talk about my testimony. Let's be COMPLETELY honest.
There are those who are angry with me, because I have written about my faith in God, but also been notorious for sinning.

I sin.
It really sucks.
Really, there is nothing worse then being a sinner. It's the worst. Just take my word for it. Don't try sinning out for yourself. Stay perfect, and take my word for it.

I am tempted by my vices everyday. I succumb to my weaknesses quite frequently. I have nights where I lay in bed wondering how/when I became such a horrid person. I am so disgusted with the mistakes I make, big and small, day in and day out. I am so overwhelmed with self-inflicted grief that I have become a true blue insomniac. I have shut so many doors, lost so many opportunities, and hurt so many people. I have made poor decisions that will inherently affect my life forever.

I am so frustrated that a testimony has not come easily to me. I have gained and lost my faith many times. I write this in complete humiliation when I admit that my testimony, regrettably, is not unwavering.
The one thing that keeps me holding on, even if sometimes I barely seem to be holding on at all, is my family. I can not conceive of anything more painful then hurting them. I KNOW that they KNOW that families can be together for eternity. Because I know that, I know how heart breaking it has been for them when I have lost my way.
Their testimonies sustain mine. I know this is not healthy, but that's how it is right now. I read, I pray, I pray sincerely, to find that strength, that unwavering faith.
Maybe it doesn't make sense anywhere else but in my own head, but it's because of my love for my family, for my precious mother who did everything to give me this life in the gospel, that I am mortified when they are aware of my sins. When I have made mistakes, and kept them from my parents, it wasn't because I wanted to be sneaky. It was because I hate letting them down in the worst possible way. When I sin, I am toying with my exaltation, and there is nothing more precious then that, in their minds. I'm only trying to get to where there is nothing more precious in my mind as well.

How wonderful it must be to be you. To be sin free, to be so clean that you are worthy of being my judge. How unlucky for me, to have a human, who doesn't know my heart, be my judge.

Now lets talk about my relationship with my family, particularly my parents.
I hear you are angry with me because I blog about my love for them, but have also said (off the blog) how frustrated, angry, and bitter, I am with them.

There really isn't much to say here.
I love my family more then anything. I am an emotional 21 year old female living under my parents roof-- and not because I want to, but because they want me to and I want to make them happy. Because really, that is what makes me happy. I think it would be bad if I was doing things to make them happy, and not thinking of myself, but I have recently realized that nothing brings me more joy then bringing my parents joy. So, I live at home. I have no social life. My best friend is getting married. My only good friends are only home during summer months. I have days when I am so happy to be home, and so grateful to be surrounded by the people who love me unconditionally. Then I have days where my dad has made a rude insensitive comment, or my moms dreams of me getting married tomorrow just send me over the edge. I have days where I forget that making them happy is what makes me happy, so I make comments about how I feel trapped, like they are controlling me or running my life.

You seem to be under the impression that I say this only behind their backs. You couldn't be more wrong. Really, ask either of them. It is never a secret when I'm angry with them.

I am in such awe of you. You who never resent and blame your parents. You, should write a book. Because anyone that gets along with their parents 100% of the time, must have some powerful insight to share with those of us who are so below you.

I'm not perfect. I am so far from perfect I burst into tears when I think about it.
I consider my strength to also be my weakness. I am a very introspective person. I recognize my flaws and contemplate how I acquired that flaw, when or why it is prevalent, and what I can do to eliminate it.

It was very easy to stop biting my nails, but to become a perfect person is going to take a little time. Maybe you could cut me some slack?
Or just stop reading my blog you pitiful bleak lurkers.
I'm the one living this ridiculous reclusive life in a town with 1800 people. What's your excuse?



-- This post is not directed to anyone but those who it is directed to.
:)
You totally know who you are.

I AM excepting apologies in the form of lomography equipment.
Pretty sure I just want the Holga and various pieces. (The cult classic lomography camera that takes those awful-ly fantastic pictures.)
But I'm not picky.

One Year Later

Last year at this time, Molly and I were not in the best place. We thought we were happy and just being different and doing what we wanted to do. Dieting came easy, which was also a plus at the time. We were at the lowest point of both of our lives, and I am so thankful for the atonement and so proud of the changes we have made. Our friend Derek, (bad influence for us) passed away a while back. This has really made me realize that we are so lucky. I love running my own life. We lost some friends on the way, but the true ones stuck with us, and never gave up on us. They have no idea how much of a help that was. Anyways.. I miss my best friend so so so much!! I'm so proud of what we have accomplished Molly. love.

-Madison

Drink up America

To all those cute girls who make me feel smart!

Thank you for the comments and emails complimenting my new girly curly font. I'm not going to lie.... I get pretty excited each time I fill in the title of each post in anticipation of how it will look when I finish.
Due to all the requests, which I have been meaning to respond to, I thought I would just write up a quick post explaining how I did it.
Well sort of....
It was incredibly hard. Annie made fun of me the other day when I tried to tell her how hard it was.... but seriously.
Being an insomniac, I often find myself wide awake at 3:00 am thinking of all the things I'd like to do (and avoiding thoughts of all the things I should do).
So one evening, while you were all tucked in your beds dreaming of pink birthday cake, babies, Edward, and endless shopping sprees , I came across this gem of a web site, and I was ecstatic.
Maybe you remember when I waxed domestic and made that yummy pasta and that delicious chocolate cake?
Well before finding those recipes, I found a handful of cute fonts and step by step instructions on how to put them on your profile.
Let me warn you, it takes a lot of patience. But if you follow the instructions carefully, you shouldn't have any trouble.
ENJOY!

Unchained Melody

Since I was a little girl watching GHOST, I have been attracted to the art of ceramics.
So, this semester, I decided to go crazy and take a class just for fun.
Wild, I know.
As my schooling will only become more hectic, I doubt I will be able to do anything like this again. I am thrilled to be doing it now.

This is Jake.

The Littlest brother.
He is spoiled rotten.
Rotten, rotten, rotten.
He has worse, more expensive teeth then I did.
He has a crazy crooked finger.
He smells like stinky sweaty little boy.
He likes to build tree forts.
He named his dog after our great great grandmother, Lila Etna.
He eats, and eats, and eats.
He wont take his vitamins.
He only eats junk food.
He only likes country music and Abba.
He likes his room clean.
He denies everything.
He goes through a pair of shoes a week.
He is the most gifted athlete of the family.
He likes to talk baby talk, gay talk, and retarded person talk.
When you tell him to stop, he'll say "okay." in the same horrid voice.
He doesn't like to be left alone. He always has to know where everyone is.
He hates that I keep the hall light on at night.
He has horrible allergies and each spring, when his face swells up he looks so much like a monkey, I start to wonder if we really did evolve from apes.
He loves picking fights.
Did I mention he stinks?

Momma,

Check it out. It made my day. I know it will make yours as well.
Everyone else should check it out too.... so they know that someone loves me....
and also because Annie is absolutely amazing and always entertaining.

Annigans Shinannigans

so jealous

I believe I've asked my mother multiple times throughout my life if I could lose the head-board, foot-board, and bed frame and lay my box spring and mattress directly on the floor.
Of course, if you know my mum, (or more like if you know my mum's mum) then you know what her answer has always been.
I've kind of always loved the idea. I love bedrooms that would remind you of a college residence, or a sketchy New York loft. Growing up, I was also so envious of my friends that had sisters to share a room with. They thought I was nuts. All of the girls also did their hair and make-up in their bedrooms- on the floor-in front of mirrors meant for hanging. Don't even get me started about posters. I was allowed one, on the backside of my bedroom door, which was always supposed to be kept open.I was so jealous. With my friends, it seemed like their own little house, one they could decorate however they like.

I suppose that might explain why I have painted my furniture this horrid john deer green.
MAYBE if she had just let me put up a few posters, I wouldn't have this ridiculous need to "express myself" at the age of 21.
baha. love you mum. Now please pretty please come help me fix it. If you dont-- you will find my box spring and mattress right on the floor-- furniture no where to be found.
No but really.

5 minutes to 9

So I ran to the grocery store as it was closing tonight.... of course everyone else was doing the same thing. As I stood in the check out line I realized the man in front of me was holding two things: Tampons and Ben and Jerry's Phish Food. I reached for my phone to take a picture but realized he was already scoping out the situation and my clicky clicky would not go unnoticed.
He was not a local. Unless he is new. But I created a whole scenerio in my head about his wife being super emotional and ruining their trip, and how when he finally had it, he unloaded on her. So of course, that made her furious, and he was now in the dog house. She said she would forgive him if he would go to the grocery store, purchase the feminine products, (that includes the Ben and Jerry's) and grovel for the remainder of the trip.

I'm so glad I never get PMS.

I think I'm in love...

So this morning, I was running a little late for church. As I was heading out the door I realized I had not put deodorant on....
So, first let me say, I'm not a stinky person. Or at least when I asked my mum if I ever had body odor growing up she said no. I never have had those nasty white shirts with nasty yellow stains on the arm pits. I have friends..... people don't seem to mind sitting by me... so I believe her.

So, I'm pretty sure because we are the poorest county in Utah, the big guys at LDS headquarters figured we small town folk didn't need a big budget. It gets so stinking hot in Gospel Doctrine class. There are old men hanging out the windows and old women stripping down to their garments. Last week I wore a cardigan over a tank top and wanted to die but I knew one of my Monticello mothers would scold me. So today I thought I should put deodorant on. Just because.
Unfortunately my deodorant was downstairs. It seemed like such work to go all that way so I went into my brothers bathroom and pulled out his AXE deodorant.

The point of this story is that all day I have been getting these wiffs of what smells like a clean, straight out of the shower, pick you up at 6, dreamy boyfriend.
It's been fantastic. I'm pretty much falling in love with myself. Or at least filling that void of where a boyfriend ought to be at this point in my life.

"Heck a husband" said my mom as she read over my shoulder....

So now you know, I'm throwing out the Secret and sticking to my 9 year old brothers deodorant... it's not like he uses it anyway.
Don't fall in love with me ladies.

omg....

So excited to download this puppy.
Yeah it's just a camera. That you make out of paper.
I'd say it will give me like 7 hipster points.

shallow me

Beauty has nothing to do with looks.
Nothing at all.
This has been such a hard concept for me to grasp. I have always wanted to change something about myself. I always feel a need for a new pair of shoes, a new pair of jeans, a new dress, new jewelry, new eyeshadow. I always need to lose 5 lbs, get a tan, change my hair. I always hate something. My small boobs, my leg hair that grows abnormally fast, my tummy, my thighs, my baby hair, my dark circles under my eyes.
A few months ago my mom said to me, if she could rewind and do one thing different in the way she raised me, she would have focused less on complimenting my physical appearance, and more on complimenting my talents, traits, and accomplishments.
I don't blame my mother for my low self esteem. But I do wish I didn't CARE so much. I wish it that it was not my primary focus.
The most fabulous shoes in the world would not make anyone more beautiful.
They also would not bring anyone lasting happiness.
I wish I didn't care.
I realize beauty is not defined by looks, yet I still obsess over it.
It's not like I neglect my spirit. I always strive to be a kind person who is loving, compassionate, loyal, forgiving, wise, unselfish, etc. But honestly, I think I put that second.
Today I walked into the ladies room at church. A darling mia maid in our ward was washing her hands when she turned to me and said, "Oh Molly, I love your shoes!"
I thanked her, kindly, and that was it. As she walked out of the restroom I realized she was wearing a brand new outfit, at least one I had never seen her wear. It was a cute white foral print dress with a cardigan and she had on new tall wedges. I didn't compliment her. I then thought about all the times this young girl has complimented me. Every time she sees me she compliments me. She has complimented my attire, my hair, my handwriting, and my personality. I have never complimented her. Yet I could tell you what my favorite outfit of hers is. I could tell you she has great hair, no split ends, a beautiful natural color, great skin, she's itty bitty, smart, athletic, quiet, and of course, kind.
I have never told her any of these things.
I notice things, about many people, that I love, and I never compliment them. I don't know why that is, but I'm really going to try to make an effort to give compliments, rather then appreciate receiving them.
And of course, I'll start with that sweet mia maid.

The Crouchet's

My dear sweet friend Alysse got hitched today! Well yesterday, Saturday. I am so happy for her, and so sad I couldn't attend the reception.
(Don't you just want to rip her hair out and run to a wig makers store?)

Cyber space makes me happy because...

Tonight I made this for myself and the boys:
Okay, listen to me people. I never ever like anything that I cook-- no matter what anyone else thinks, I'm always disappointed...
But seriously,
this
was
amazing.
My parents came home and had some and wished they hadn't gone out for dinner.
Atleast that's what they said anyway...
You can find the recipe and step by step instructions HERE. This lady is wonderful. She gets to make great food, take great pictures of food, and then EAT great food. Her site is also where I learned to install that cute cursive font I've got going on.

Matthew's birthday is tomorrow. So I also went ahead and made this cake:
I hope it measures up the the pasta. I'll let you know tomorrow evening.

Beautiful NieNie

Well, today I really really really extra wish I was in Provo... at least, if nothing else, for the evening. At 7:00 pm, Nie Nie is hiking the Y as a milestone of her journey since last years events. She has invited everyone, anyone who has followed her story, fallen in love with her family, and prayed for her healing. How generous to share that with the world. Her blog has brought me to tears on more then one occasion. Mum and I have sat on the couch, read her story, cried for her, and realized our own blessings which we take for granted every day. She really is a remarkable woman. I truly believe that she agreed to this hardship long ago in heaven, knowing that doing so would bring so many people in the world closer to their families, and their God. How beautiful, and Christlike she must be.

QUICK! Give me your social security number!

I'm going to start saying that to everyone at the most awkward moments.
I just think it sounds like a funny thing to do.

And my new comeback to everything you say offensive is, "Dum dum!"
with out the b's.

Attention male prospects:

The following is a list of requirements and guidelines that must be met in order to marry the highly coveted and/or lusted after Molly Freestone.
Highly coveted and/or lusted.
Highly.

• You must be willing to snuggle at any time in the day or night.
• You must only use the bathroom outside. Molly doesn't want to share a bathroom with you.
• You are to bathe only once a week.
• You are only allowed to eat food that is chicken or beef flavored.
  
• You are to never speak, ever.
• When Molly says come, you come. When Molly says jump, you say how high? (with out speaking).
• You will answer to a feminine name, because feminine names are cuter.
• You are not allowed to go near the outside animals. (Lucky, Lilla, and Lou-lou)
• You are not allowed to rub it in their faces that you get to live indoors.
• You are forbidden from chewing on anything that is not designated as your toys.
• You will live to be 100, and never fall in love with anyone else.
  
• You must stay far away from Molly's mum, who tends to be everyone's favorite around here.
• Molly is your favorite.

And that's it dear puppy prospects! Molly looks forward to receiving you as a gift from Mum and Dad for her quarter year birthday, September 1st.

Today...

Annie and I are going to make postcards and send them to:
1345 Copper Ridge Road
Germantown, Maryland
20874
We are so excited.
If we don't get published on the blog or book, we're going to commit suicide.
Just a heads up.

No Mom.... that was a joke. Like how we are married on facebook. A joke. Like how I tried to make samoas. A joke.

Mum,

Today, in Blanding, I bought doggy biscuits. The kind that freshen breath and fight tarter.

I've now invested 4.95 plus tax in my puppy so you are obligated to make it happen.

It was YOUR idea. And you can't expect me to live here, with no friends, and no lovers, unless I have a puppy to cuddle with at night. Annie and Marci are leaving.

I need a puppy...

Por favor.

I rove you. You are my favorite mummy.

Love, your favorite child.

p.s. Thank you for being here for me when Madi fell in love.
p.p.s. bikini wearing hypocrite.

I swear...
Every time I have a near death experience, my IQ drops drastically.
Okay, I've only had two near death experiences.... but they were both in the last 2 years, and before that I was kind of smart.
Now... all I'm good for is finger rubbing. I've also turned into one of those terribly obnoxious people who laughs at the television, out loud, as if whatever is funny is really happening.
On the bright side......
nope, I've got nothing.
There is no bright side.

too much going on!

I know it sounds completely crazy, but yes i've accepted a third job.
As if i'm not busy enough right now, what with planning a wedding, working at the salon and running my own business, and working in the office at MGA.
I am now going to be working a couple shifts a week at Pei Wei.
I swore 3 years ago i would never work there again. (i was an employee for pei wei for 2 years).
But i've decided the extra money would be nice. And pei wei said they could use the help. so really i'm just helping them out. hahaha ok okay i'm no saint.
anyways i'm at work right now, eating pei wei (what are the odds), and its delicious so i'm excited to get my 50% off again! :)

-madison

um......

Will should not be creeped.
Well, even if he is, I just know that will change when he realizes how wonderful it is having both of us because Madi keeps bathrooms clean and I keep kitchens clean.
Now I know what you're thinking... how will Madi and Will ever "do it"?
Don't you think I've thought this through? I'll sleep on top of the sheets so those two can have their privacy.

It will be like.... EFY, but smokier.

I looked for like... an hour... for the post I made on two great songs. Jesus Christ- by Brand New, and Where have you been- by Manchester Orchestra.
All so I could post a stupid link to that post when I told you THIS:
Brand New, Manchester Orchestra, October 9th, The Salt Palace.
I'm going. Really. I'd sell my first born child if I had to.
Please come wif me.

This is Carlie.

Isn't she darling?
She wrote this amazing little post that touched my heart and brought me to tears.
Carlie is that little sister I never had. Her mother and my mother are best friends. Her older sister and I spent our first year away from home in Provo together. I was so envious of the adorable relationship the two shared.
Little Carlie is from Texas but I don't hold it against her.
I've always found it ironic how the greatest examples in my life are all younger then I. Carlie is one of those examples. Her testimony of the gospel is strong and without even speaking, it is certain just being in her presence, that she loves the lord and has a good head on her shoulders.
Carlie, I love you.
Now get your arse in Utah.

CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY.

That's what my (great) Grandpa Hess told my Mum when she was in tears.

While it is easier said then done, it isn't impossible.
Right?

Sitemeter is the greatest thing since skinny boys in straight legs.

There Mum. I said "Straight legs" instead of "skinnies".

Oh my people. You should see my littlest brother, aka "evil spawn" in his new school clothes. Well, atleast this one pair of "straight legs."

It was like Christmas when he walked into the room and held up a peace sign.
It was like-- the original Christmas.

He doesn't realize why I was jumping for joy wiping tears from my face. I'm afraid if we tell him, he'll never wear them.

I pinky promise stamp it to post a picture when he wears the jeans to school.

Since I usually blog about things that only affirm that I am shallow, superficial, emotional, dramatic, self absorbed, worldy, etc. I thought I would post a little somethin' somethin' that might sway opinions , even if just a little bit.
MINT!!!
Considering that I am such a lifeless computer gnome, I thought I would transfer my well organized budget (scraps of paper smashed into my scripture case because the only time I ever find to write up a budget plan is in Sacrament meeting) to the internet!!!
What's so great about MINT is you can add all your bank accounts, savings accounts, credit card debt, car and mortgage payments, etc. to your Mint account and it will keep track of your spending, whether you've gone over or under budget, tell you when it's time to pay that stupid credit card bill that will never go away, or even help you plan for your next big purchase.
I'm pretty obsessed. It's like--- a computer game about banking.... BUT IT'S REAL!!!

{I initially wanted to write this post in a smart, sophisticated manner, but being me is way more fun.}

I think it will be easier for me to accept that I was never yours,
then to accept that you looked at me like something that was never yours.

I'm just being honest...

Tumblr is better.

My blog is boring.
It's called Madison and Molly but Madi is in love and doesn't blog much... even when she wasn't in love she didn't blog much. And if she does start blogging its all going to be about hubsy so she pretty much is just going to need her own uber cliche but still fantabulous married person blog.

And I want a tumblr.
Cause it seems cooler. The way a mac seems cooler then a pc.
The way deep v's seem cooler then v's even though they are so immodest.
The way a momma made pb&j is better then a molly made pb&j.
The way the classics are better then new stuff, even though they aren't but they are classics so they are.

I want a tumblr.

But I don't want to say goodbye to my thoughts and feelings, hopes, dreams, good days, bad days, everything I have put into this blog.

But I want a tumblr.

I'm just being honest...

i was uncool before uncool was cool.

so cute. so sad.

oh my.

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

tic tock

If this is old news, I'm sorry. But I am freaking out right now!
Michael Jackson DIED!

jk jk. Monticello is small but not THAT small.

Why I am really freaking out is because I just stumbled across some fantastic information.

I'll give you a few hints.

a. A really high cat.
b. Mr. Johnny Depp.
c. Andy Butler's favorite Ipod playlist.
.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
......
.....
....
...
..
.

Fallen Princesses

This totally got to me.
Brilliant work by Vancouver photographer, Dina Goldstein.
This is rated PG 13. It's simply not appropriate for little girls. Seriously, it would have shattered my dreams had I seen this at age 7.

Oh my goodness!
Remind me to move to France, so my children will talk like this!
She's absolutely adorable. I want her!

I've been thinking....

which is usually a bad thing.
But I think this is a GOOD thing.

In October my two year cell phone contract will end. I've been planning to just go back onto my parents plan because I only went to my own in spite and rage. I was thinking though, how wonderful it would be to just ditch the cell phone completely for one year. 365 days.
Annie did it for a week.
It about killed the rest of us but I think it would be nice. It's not for sure yet. Option B which is much less radical and much more realistic is to block incoming/outgoing text messages. I just think texting can be really bad for relationships. Relationships with family, friends, boys, everyone.
I have a serious fear of talking on the phone. Even with my family. Even with my mom. It's like, a legitimate phobia. And I hate it. So I'm going to change it.

I WANT
This hair-do:

A canopy bed: I kick myself whenever I think about the breath-taking canopy bed set I had as a child, and how it wasn't good enough.

An amazing fabric selection at the Monti Merc.

I NEED
To finish remodeling my bedroom.
or maybe even just clean it.
To read some good quality conference talks on happiness, forgiveness, education, family, and long suffering.
To smile.
Money.
Patience.
Talents.
To give my debit card a little rest.
To floss.
To not want to want to dress immodestly.
A puppy. Where is my puppy?!?!? (I put this is the needs category Mum)
Classes to start back up. With out school, I have too much time to think.
To like my body.
To improve my posture.
To thank some individuals.
To not care who dislikes me for reasons I can not change.
To get this eyelash out of my eyeball.
To set some new goals.
To sleep at night.
To serve.
To be aware and appreciate more.
Ben and Jerry.

Well first of all, I must update the world on my spying mum status.... It's only fair. She pinky promised stamped it, swore on her lovers grave, the holy bible, the book of mormon, gave scouts honor, no crossies count, PROMISED that she was NOT guilty of spying on me.
And I believe her.
So I am really sorry Mum for making you look bad for the whole wide world (meaning Aunt Pennie, Dad, Annie and Marci, cause they are the only people that read this.)
My mom is not a spy. But I am still skeptical of all the other mothers out there. You have no IDEA what high school was like for me!

Moving on.
I have about twelve pet peeves but they are all caused by one gigantic pet peeve and that is my little brothers Yes, my little brothers ARE my pet peeve.
Nothing makes me more mad then...
when Jake burps or toots at the dining table.
when Matt takes off his socks and leaves them wherever he is standing/sitting and then I step on stinky hard socks.
when remotes/cellphones mysteriously go missing for days, weeks, months, years. It happens.
when either of them leave the toothpaste on the counter with the cap open and the toothpaste spills into a big puddle. Every damn day I tell you.
when either of them use my shower and my expensive products and again leaves the caps open to spill into a big useless puddle.
when either of them use my shower and leave the rag un-rung in a wad on the floor of the tub.
when they tattle on me for swearing.
and the pet peeve that comes second to number one (which of course is just having little brothers):
when they pee, with out lifting the damn seat, or even wiping it off after, and then I get the surprise and privilege of sitting in their urine. Nothing, NOTHING makes me more mad. Do you hear me? Nothing. How am I supposed to handle that? Do I get in the shower? Do I just try to wipe my cheekies the best I can? It is so gross to pull my unders up after that..... really.

Do you feel like we just had an awkward conversation after reading this? Cause I kind of feel that way just from writing this.

I look at this darling girl Miriam Estelle, and her cute relationship with her two little sisters and think, maybe, just maybe, Heavenly Father got a little side tracked and ACCIDENTALLY gave molly brothers when he MEANT to give her clean, dainty, polite, pink, lacey, sparkley, ruffley, sisters.
{Looking up for lightning bolt}

I'm off to lysol the toilet now.