Math skills

So... I figure I have roughly 800 more days of this.
That didn't sound all that bad until I figured I haven't even been home for 800 days and it feels like FOREVER!

Grinch..... and Gossip Girl

Am I the only one who didn't catch this?!
It seems so obvious to me now.

Who's the fool?

Are you kidding me?
I'm sitting here WASTING time and money to become a NURSE with some silly degree from a college so that I can make under 100 grand a year?!?!
Why didn't anyone STOP me?!?!?!
From now on, I am aspiring to be a reality TV star. I will start cat fights, kiss random B-list athletes and greasy band members, pretend to go to school, shop, and complain.
I am going to be the next Lauren Conrad.


Wow
How much does MTV pay the stars of its smash unscripted series The Hills? Lauren Conrad earns $75,000 per episode.
Fashion forward LC is expected to earn $1.4 million for the complete fourth season of The Hills. Let’s see how much her castmates earn.

Heidi Montag: $65,000 per episode ($1.25 million per year)
Spencer Pratt: $65,000 per episode ($1.25 million per year)
Audrina: $35,000 per episode ($665,000 annually)
Whitney: $20,000 per episode ($380,000 per season)
Brody: $10,000 per episode ($190,000 a year)
Lauren “Lo”: $10,000 per episode ($190,00 for The Hills Season 4)
Stephanie: $8,000 per episode ($152,00 for Season 4)

so I'm emo. so what.

Our Dog!

Will's family has a English Lab named Luke, and I love him!!! not as much as tommy but I do love him, he is so cute and so obedient! Me and Will already know what kind of dog we will get over time! We are so excited! Oh and we want a baby! :)

I started reading this book, and I love it!!

Anyways i'm becoming a total wife, I sit in the bedroom reading my book, and will plays x-box or is at school or work.

What A Dream.

A couple of weeks ago, my husband William and I went to bed in our new apartment. After getting married Will soon learned I am a sleep-talker. Anyways one night I was having a crazy dream that there were people in our room, moving furniture in for us. And Will was a King and i was his Queen, and I was told that if i did not satisfy him I was to be be-headed. So when i was half asleep still i started to feel Will up if you know what i mean... Later that morning i remembered what my dream was about and told Will. We had a pretty good laugh.

I've simply run out of things to blog about.

I am the worlds most boring human being.

No. I take that back. Mrs. Theobald, my high school science teacher was the worlds most boring human being. I am second.

Hey Ya'll

I awoke this morning in Texas.
If you know anything about how LAST time I met my one and only soul-mate and how we were instantly head over heels in love, and how hey called me ma'am and tipped his hat, well guess what:
THIS is my cowboy's myspace account that I may or may not have google searched.
There is no such thing as love.

moo.

I haven't had a glass of milk since I was 17 years old.
That is when I moved away and it was no longer a dinner table requirement. Now, while I have moved back home and it is technically still a rule, I have found drinking a tall glass of ice water instead to be one of those "little rebellious acts" that keep me feeling satisfied in my role as the defiant daughter without getting Mum in a tizzy about my exaltation.

Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking about how this girl will most likely die of osteoporosis especially because it "runs in the family."

Well you know what? Simply the thought of milk tricks my gag reflexes into thinking its time for a fiesta in my mouth. Really, just uploading that picture had me thinking about that texture, that taste, that cows utters!


So, if it so happens that I find myself laying on my death bed in x amount of years due to osteoporosis, I will look back at each wonderful day of milklessness and think, "Good times, good times."

And besides.... Ice cream has calcium! So betcha' bottom dollar if you ran some tests I'd actually be sweating calcium through my pores.

Happy Birthday MUM!

I love you I love you I love you! Sometimes I forget you are my "mother" because I have so much fun and laugh my hardest when I am with you....
but then you usually remind me by asking boys to ask me on dates, calling the temple to put my name on the prayer roll, making flank steak instead of roast just for me, bursting into tears begging me to find a husband and make you grandbabies, randomly bearing your testimony just to make sure I know how important our church is to you, always coming home from trips to the city with kitchen appliances for my future home, and especially, and most of all, with your fantastic snuggles.

I heard a cute quote-- it went something like,
"The best thing in life is when your friends become your family, and your family becomes your friends."

Now, more then ever before, it is so apparent to me that you and I were purposely put together to go through life as mother and daughter.

I love you Momma! Happy Birthday!

Ouchy Ouchy Ouchy

I've always thought acid reflux was for old people.
I thought wrong.

As if I didn't already have sleep issues. I've started sleeping with pillows- sitting up! I HATE pillows. This of course, has only brought me pain during the day in my neck and back.
And you may remember I can't take Tylenol anymore!
And that damned ibuprofen is GIVING me headaches.

Well, because I am SUCH an eternal optimist, always looking for the good in things, embracing every trial and tribulation with a good attitude and eagerness to grow stronger, (joke) I have found the bright side of acid reflux. My mom has been in the hospital because of her acid reflux a few times. It gets so bad that her esophagus goes wack and she can't eat which leads to malnutrition!!!

So if nothing else, acid reflux is going to make me a babe.
BAM!

This post is dedicated to Annie, and her second best friend.

MTV Shows

Let's kill Kanye.

Although, you have to hand it to Beyonce. Classy move!

MTV Shows

Today

I have done absolutely nothing productive.

Except make tapioca pudding.
And eat it.

See this fantastic picture I took after I made it? I just felt like going the extra mile in case any boys happen to be looking for a domesticated crafty wife and stumbled across my blog. I even made the table design, grew the mint, and picked the cherries.

Joke. I did't take that picture.

See! I can't say anything sarcastic with out clarifying myself. I hate it. It ruins it. I'm going to stop. From now on, please know that 85% of what I say is a joke and the other 20% is unfortunately me just being cookoo.

Another joke.
curses.

Is this tacky?

Well, regardless, I am going to post...

The most wonderful thing has happened and completely gone with out notice until a recent football related conversation came up at the dinner table the other evening.

Matt, my little brother, has just been dubbed his team's Quarterback. (I know what you are thinking... MOLLY'S brother, an athlete?... It's no secret that I've never really fit in with this family) Matt is only 12, so it's not like high school football or anything. Still, if you talk to any one of the boys on the team you will realize very quickly that this is serious business, and just after this comes the NBA. Funny joke. I'm just kidding around. I know it's the MLB. Another joke.

I wish I was the kind of person confident enough to not say just kidding after every obvious joke.... but so often nobody gets my humor... and while I know, deep down, that is because my humor is not funny, I like to tell myself that it is because all of the people around me are really really dumb and have really small minds.

So! Wo, I've gone waaay off track here. So Matt says something about how he was so glad he wasn't over the weight limit because if he was, he wouldn't be allowed to play QB. (Matt is a giant. Not a fatty, but a GIANT! Our dad is 6'8" and Matt is predicted to be taller then him---possibly 7'0". Poor awkward boy.) When he mentioned that, I asked how much he weighed. He told me he weighed 120 lbs. I laughed and said, "nu uh. You are confused." Then HE said, "yeah huh. Coach weighed us on a really nice accurate scale."

Of course, as I am sure you all would do in my position, I burst into tears as the overwhelming feeling of "accomplishment" overcame my soul. Mum always says I just need to experience "accomplishment" in my life in order to realize my self worth. Well Mum, I completely understand what you mean now. I have never felt more proud or accomplished in my entire life.
I, Molly BELLE Freestone, age 21, at just shy of 5'9", weigh less than my 12 year old brother!

Knowing, and with full intent, that this was something I must blog about, I took Matt to the bathroom for a photo op. Matt weighed 125 on my scale. So I am not sure if that means I really weigh more or less than I have thought, but either way, I weigh less than my brother.
And it is fantastic.
And don't worry. I recently bought, and hid in the back of my freezer, a tub of birthday cake ice cream and ate "the entire confection" by myself. And today I bought another package of lighthouse pink cookies... because they are just too cute to resist, right?




Oh, and yes... My toenails are painted silver-- and Mum STILL has not said anything. So frustrating. I thought for sure she would speak up today because tomorrow is Sunday. I'm teaching her a lesson, kindly and respectfully, that she should have allowed me to wear all the wild tacky colors of nail polish I wanted to as a little girl, because now she has a cookoo "adult" on her hands who is wearing tacky silver metallic nail polish to church tomorrow morning.

Lost in Translation

When I wasn't doing things related to the wedding I was spending time with Ana and Jenny from Orlando. I had never met Jenny but I have spent some time with Ana before. Madi became friends with these girls through church while living in Orlando. The three of us had a pretty good time considering we were all foreigners to the area. So after we sent Madi and Will off to their honeymoon, the three of us decided to spend the rest of the evening with three boys from Madi and Will's ward who had attended the reception. One of whom they had hoped for me to marry but that's a whole other story. So they invited us to go watch movies with a group of friends. (this movie party turned out to be an organized institute event) The party was alright and instead of watching movies, everyone decided to have a dance party. Ana and Jenny thought this to be the strangest experience ever. I simply had Provo deja vu. We learned to "jerk" (dance move-youtube it)... Jenny was the best of course.....
Well, after a while, we all got tired of dancing and me and the two girls were just sitting on the couch. That's when Jenny received a text from one of the boys we had come with.
So Jenny takes us into another room and tells Ana and I that she is confused because the guys were inviting us to go smoke weed. We were sitting in the middle of some of the most wholesome mormons we had ever seen including the three boys we came with.
Then, one of them came into the room and started asking us awkwardly what we wanted to do, if we wanted to go, if we were uncomfortable with things, etc.
The three of us tried to think up an excuse as to how to get rid of the guys. We told them we were going to go and they took that as, "alright, let's go."
So we walked to the cars. The guys got in one and the girls in the other and we decided that we were going to lose them.
We were still so confused that these total zoobs had even invited us to smoke weed. Of course being girls, we began to recap the whole ordeal in the car. So that's when Jenny says, "Yeah, that one boy, the one that dances a lot, he texted me and said "hey you girls wanna roll"..."
Ana flipped and said, Jenny, rolling is not smoking weed, its doing ecstacy!!!"
Right as those two were becoming more shocked and disappointed with the boys, everything began to register in my head differently then how it had in each of theirs.
In mormon land, "you girls wanna roll" has a whole different meaning then in Orlando or anywhere else for that matter.
The boys were simply asking us if we wanted to leave the institute house party-- which made so much more sense. When I explained this to the girls, we all laughed so hard we were in tears. So, we decided to follow the boys to one of their homes where we watched Brian Regan and played "signs" like good little mormons do.

The Durkin's

So I have been holding off on this post because I wanted for it to be a fantastic collage of pictures. Unfortunately I am the most impatient person on earth so instead of waiting for those I am just going to post a few horrible quality pictures of Madison Durkin's (and Will's) fabulous day.

Honestly, I am a pretty harsh critic when it comes to weddings and I must say it was by far the most fun wedding reception I have ever attended. (Although I hear the ones with alcohol put ours to shame..) Madison looked beautiful, and best of all, I didn't even vomit all over Will. He is as charming as he is good looking.

When the professional pictures do become available, I will show you the most stunning picture I have ever seen. Get this, he looks like EDWARD! Not the Edward on the movie but the Edward I created in my head when I first read the books. Oh and Madi looks pretty too. haha. No but really, she was so beautiful.

I am so happy for them!

If your mum is a dead beat-- just skip this post.

Today I cried when I told Mum all about my favorite Hannah Montana episode.
Dead serious.

It is only for one scene in particular that I came to this conclusion, but It's really so great. So Miley watches as the class nerd gets turned down after asking a girl to the upcoming dance. She feels bad for the boy, comforts him, which leads to him asking her to be his date for the dance. When she says yes, he is so ecstatic and says, "My best friend is not going to believe this!"
Then he pulls out his phone, makes a call, and says, "HELLO MOM, GUESS WHAT!"

Seriously though.
My Mum is the first and last person I want to go to whenever I have bragging or great news about myself.

I hope little girls around the world didn't pick up on that and decide it isn't cool to have your mother as your best friend. I realize it was funny. I laughed really hard. But I would just hate for that to be considered uncool.


mmmm. Skip to 5:45 to see it.

Today Matt wanted to wear his brand stinking new school shoes to Football practice.

I immediately stepped in.

"You aren't going to wear your new Nike's are you?"

Matt then stomped down the stairs muttering sounds.
"meh. erg. i. hate. you. freak. poop. face."

That's when mum used the word "bulldog" to describe my attitude.

Of course, I then followed Matt down the stairs to my own bedroom muttering similar words.

I am not a bulldog!
URGH!!
Well if I am, I'm a cute cuddly little bulldog puppy with sad eyes and a wet nose.

Dear Brother Durkin,

It seems like only a few months ago that Madi called me and nonchalantly mentioned she had met someone. Oh wait-- it was only a few months ago!!! Well, when she told me this, I immediately panicked-- as both Madi and I always have when thinking about one another falling in love.
Our first conversation about you went something like this.

me- "Is he the one?"
madi- "Please, we've only hung out like twice."
me- "Does he wear skinnies? V-necks? Vans?"
madi- "No. But he is beautiful. He is an R.M. and he is a really good guy, Molly. You would like him. He went to England and calls his mom "mum"!
me- "not even vans?!!!"
madi- "Oh shut up ho."
I'm just guessing she said ho, because she always calls me ho...... I am not a ho!

With in only a few weeks, my everyday conversations and constant back and forth texting with Madison tapered into a short phone conversation every other week. Her blogging (which has always been bad) reached an all time low, and her myspace and facebook accounts seemed like online ghost towns.
Even before Madi told me, I knew things were getting serious. Even before you were engaged to Madi, I was having daily emotional breakdowns in front of various family members, friends, neighbors, pets, and that one tourist in line at the grocery store. I doubt he will ever come back to Utah or join the LDS church.
I understand what a complete fool I have made of myself. I must come across as the most selfish, territorial, borderline-crazy, seemingly homosexual best friend. I admit, I have had some selfish feelings. You see, You weren't in our 5 year plan and initially, I was so sad that things weren't turning out the way I wanted them to. It was hard to accept that my days with Madi, being roommates, dancing, long drives, deep conversations, our complete openness with one another, having no secrets, having no one else who understood our thoughts and feelings better, having no one else we'd rather turn to, really had ended.
You weren't in our 5 year plan. And it has taken me some time to realize and accept that our 5 year plan is not God's five year plan.

I want you to know Will, that as sad as I am for myself, as difficult as it is to understand that my best friend is on to the next chapter in her life, that she is gaining a new best friend, I do not hate you. You are everything Madison deserves. You stand for everything we realized we wanted in those many late night conversation about our futures. You are everything I want for Madison. For that reason alone, I will respect you, and be grateful to you, and love you (in a non creepy sort of way) forever.

So, Here are some tips that I think will be useful in your many years with Miss Madison.
When Madis head hurts, play with her hair/head.
When Madi doesn't want to wake up, make a deal that you will play with her hair/head for five minutes and then she must wake up.
Madi likes wal-mart brand mint chocolate chip ice cream more than any expensive kind.
When its flu season, you MUST remind Madi every day to take her medicine... or else she will die.
If she's in a bad mood, turn on Reno 911 re-runs.
If she calls you a ho, consider it a term of endearment.
Her hideous gray sweatpants... they'll never go away. I've tried.
Madi's spelling is poor. Always proof read anything that could be embarrassing for her if anyone else were to read it.
If you feel like its hot, Madi will be complaining because she is cold.
If you feel like its cold, Madi will be complaining of the heat.
Madison's birthday will always fall on April 12th. Your Anniversary will always fall on September 4th. Don't forget.
Madi's family is really funny. But they probably make fun of you behind your back.
They make fun of everyone. Don't let it get to you.
Don't drive slow or she will scream.
Don't drive fast or she will scream.
Set all of your clocks an hour early.
Ask her about the time she made a dance and performed it in front of an "audience" at the Branbury.
Don't mention her deep manly voice.
Always tell her that her odd outfit looks great. Because it does.
And the most important tip I can give you.....
if you ever hurt my madi's heart, run. Run far, far, far away. Because I will hunt you down.
:)

I am so sincerely happy for Madi. She has found the person she will love forever. How truly fantastic.

To my best friends' new hubsy!
Congratulations!
And to my best friend!
You did it!

Love you both,
Molly

Holy Smokes!

Map Quest commented on my last post.
I feel really important.
Map Quest has won my heart.
Annie is JUST jealous Map Quest doesn't leave her comments.


So the obvious winner is.....
drum roll please...
because I know you're just DYING to know whether I chose map quest or google maps.....

It stresses me out when...

MapQuest claims I will reach 1733 S. Gilmore Circle Mesa, Arizona 85206 in 7 hours and 2 minutes driving a total of 442.00 miles
while
Google Maps claims I will reach that same address in 7 hours and 28 minutes, but only driving a total of 430.00 miles.

We're leaving at noon.
The shower is at 7:00 pm.
We can't speed because those damned camera speed sleuths get us every time.
(and because it's against the law and irresponsible)

Who am I supposed to believe here? On the one hand, I have a close relationship with google. I go to google for everything. My deepest most thought provoking questions like, "How many calories are in an avocado?" "Where in the U.S.A can I buy Cabo Chips?" "Who is the richest/most righteous bachelor in the world?" Google has never let me down.

On the other hand, Map quest is the pioneer of online directions. Map quest has delivered me safely to all sorts of places, such as the hippest nose piercing shop-- (don't worry, all there is on this nose are unwanted blemishes) or to the closest McDonald's open 24 hours. Maybe though, the fact that Map quest is the pioneer isn't a good thing. Maybe it is outdated. The way it ISN'T always best to go to an older hair dresser, because while they may have 20 more years of experience, they might also not be up to date on the latest trends or techniques.
Maybe map quest is that 50 year old hair dresser.

Oh my gosh! I think I feel a panic attack coming on.

endorphins

I'm in a strange fabulous mood today.
It's odd. I've been super blue lately. (As if you couldn't tell)
But today-- I'm just so cheery.
It makes no sense. I have a great big fat ugly physiology exam today. I should be a mess.
I think it's because I have this song by Lenka on repeat.
Seriously-- try and listen to it and be emo.
Just try.

Impossible.