So, after nearly a year of suffering, and knowing that there are others out there like myself trying to ease the pain of what is lost with little debbie snacks, doughnuts, candy bars, and fried chicken, I took this very serious matter into my own hands and wrote to the folks at Meadow Gold. Because If we can't get our beloved Birthday Cake Ice Cream back, then tell me what is life even worth living for?

Dear friends at Meadow Gold,
I'm writing to you because I have fallen into a deep deep skinny depression since you discontinued the amazing Birthday Cake Ice Cream. I understand that it was a "limited edition" product, but what YOU don't understand is just how much happiness it brought into my life. I did my best to purchase and consume as much as I could so that you would see it's success and decide to never discontinue my beloved Birthday Cake Ice Cream, but sadly I failed. Since it disappeared from the shelves of grocery stores, I've tried to find something to replace it, like your Banana Split Ice Cream, and Prozac, but nothing I've found can fill the void my heart and stomach now suffer. I'm begging you, PLEASE, to bring back Birthday Cake Ice Cream; the food that warms my heart and freezes my brain.
Sincerely,
The girl who lost her ice cream thighs,
and wants them back,
Molly Freestone


